Splashdown
by pyrorbl
Summary: IrvinexZell. Short, humorous scenario during Fisherman's Horizon. Fear the mosquitos.


**Author's Notes :** This is a yaoi fic I wrote for fun. It's a short bit of fluff between Irvine and Zell, set during disc 2 in Fisherman's Horizon. Hope you like, and send feedback to pyro72@excite.com.  
**Warnings :** m/m relationship, a great deal of swearing, and my own rampant silliness

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Splashdown

"Hyne-" SLAP. "Damned-" SLAP "Mosquitos!" SLAP!

Zell laughed. "Just be glad it's not the middle of the summer yet. I heard they get to be the size of bite bugs down here."

I itched, frustrated, at one of my many bite marks. Screw the weather; I made a mental note to _never_ go outside without my full outfit on again. With just my vest and jeans on, the fucking insects had access to too much skin. "Hell, I'd be _glad_ if they were that big. Then I could shoot the little bloodsuckers," I said.

Zell leaned against the railing behind him, chuckling. Damn things didn't seem to bother him. Lucky bastard. "You could always go inside." His grin widened, his eyes getting a mischievious glint. "Now that you're on dry land."

"Thank Hyne for that," I muttered.

Those few days on the BGH-whatever had been pure hell. Quistis, Selphie, and I stuck in the middle of the ocean, in that hot, cramped machine, unable to escape the bugs or each other.

He tilted his head back to the sky. We were surrounded by blue - powder blue above, the aqua ocean below, and all the bluish buildings in Fisherman's Horizon. What I wouldn't have given to see the dusty red of Galbadia's plains again. "It couldn't have been that bad," he said.

I snorted. "That machine we came in on was not made for three people to be stuffed in for several _weeks_. Plus part of it was caved in from our first battle, so most of the time I had to sit on the roof. Do you have any idea how hot that metal got in the sun? And do you have any idea how bad the ocean smells? Ugh."

Zell laughed again. He was enjoying this way too much. "Smells fine to me."

"You grew up in Balamb though. You're used to the brine-" SMACK. I scowled. "And these fucking bugs."

He shrugged. "You'll get used to 'em. Just don't scratch the bites too much, or it'll leave a scar."

Mosquitos. Yep, I was definitely missing the desert right now. Just another thing to add to my list of Reasons I Hate Water. Hell, if I never saw the ocean again, I'd die a happy man.

I'm not afraid of water; in fact, when we caught up with Garden, Squall handed me the Leviathan junction. So far we seem to be getting along just fine. I just don't like it all that much. Being trapped on that broken piece of Galbadian Army crap, especially with a PMS-ing Quistis, hadn't helped my taste for the stuff. And when we finally _did_ find dry land, it was at FH, in the middle of the fucking sea.

Like Zell said, I could go inside. But then I'd be surrounded by the lovely fountains and pools of B-Garden. When this is all over, I thought, I'm moving to Centra. In the middle of the desert. And I'm never going near the shore again.

Zell poked my side. "Quit brooding, you baby. You look like Squall." I looked up in surprise at that and grinned. He was right - brooding wasn't my style. It was, however, the speciality of the man walking up the railroad, approaching us at our lounging point by the docks.

I nodded in his direction, drawing Zell's attention that way. "Speak of the devil."

Pushing himself off the railing, he waved at Squall. "Yo! How's it going?" he said. I just nodded.

Squall stopped short, looking back and forth between us. Finally he said, "You two aren't trying to kill each other."

I flicked my ponytail back. "The bugs are doing enough of a job torturing me, thanks."

"It's only payback, Kinneas," Zell said, "considering how much you get a kick out of annoying me."

Squall sighed, but something like a smile - which was saying a lot for Squall - lit his eyes. "You two sound like a married couple."

That stopped both of us. We just stared at each other for a minute, then Zell bounced over to Squall's side, putting him between us. I wanted to laugh. It was like Zell was trying to convince Squall that he didn't like me, he liked _him_. I had a feeling that if I said anything, though, the mosquitos would be the least of my problems. 

"Selphie sent me to find you two. She said she needed to talk to you."

Zell and I shared a look. Ah, the Garden Festival. I doubted a concert would be the best way to congratulate Squall, but it'd make Selphie happy. I just can't say no to the girl. And who knows? - Maybe Squall'd get laid. Rinoa seemed willing, and Hyne knows it'd do wonders for the man's attitude.

Similar thoughts must have been going through Zell's mind, because the next thing I saw flash in those baby blues was jealousy. It was all I could do not to grin like a chocobo that'd gotten into a bag of greens. The bouncy little fighter was sweet on our Commander! I'd suspected, of course, watching the two of them interact, but now proof was right in front of me. Not that I could blame the guy - Squall just drew people to him. _I_ certainly wouldn't turn him down.

After telling us where to find Selphie, Squall took off. It looked like he was going to the Master Fisherman's house. For a mercenary and a pacifist, they got along surprisingly well.

I couldn't help myself. Once Squall was out of sight, I doubled over laughing. Zell looked at me like I'd gone nuts. "...the hell's wrong with you?" he asked.

My stomach hurt; I couldn't stop laughing. Eventually I caught my breath, but when I saw Zell's pissed-off face I started again. "Screw this," he said, turning to leave.

"Zell, wait," I gasped, futilely reaching for him. "Just give me a sec." I walked closer to him after catching my breath, onto the pier near the weapon shop. Even though I'd quit laughing, I was still grinning like a moron.

I waited until I had his full attention before speaking. "So," I said as nonchalantly as possible, "how long have you had a crush on our fierceless leader?"

I've never seen a person's face go through that many shades of red that quickly. He didn't even bother trying to deny it; instead he just stepped toward me with that color-changing face, shaking a fist at me. "You tell a soul, Kinneas, and I swear on Hyne- "

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I said, throwing up my hands defensively. "I'm cool with it, Zell. If I thought I had a snowball's chance in hell, I'd go after him, too."

That took him by surprise. He blinked at me for a full minute before laughing sarcastically. "You? Mr. I-Chase-Anything-in-a-Skirt? Yeah right!"

I grinned. "Well, while Squall in a skirt isn't a bad thought -" I paused a moment to savor the mental image - "let's just say I appreciate beauty in both genders." I looked at him appraisingly, grinning wickedly. Zell wasn't half-bad looking either, to say the least. Hard, muscular lines made an appealing contrast with his soft baby blue eyes and sun-colored hair. And he'd be a helluva lot more fun to play with than the Ice Princess.

Zell shook his head, the faintest smile on his lips. "You're a strange one, Irvine Kinneas." Then he gave me a 'friendly punch' on my shoulder.

The boy sometimes forgets his strength. He caught me off guard, and that 'little pat' pushed me off the dock and into the water.

Oh, _fuck_. Not only do I not like water, but I can't swim. Panic swept over me, and I began thrashing. Bad idea. My clothes were dragging me down, and I couldn't tell which way was up with all the water I was splashing. 

Zell approached the edge of the deck and began _laughing_, the bastard. I would have yelled at him to help me if I wasn't terrified of swallowing a mouthful of sea water. "You can't swim!" he called. No shit, Odine! Quit laughing and _help_ me, you moron!

After enjoying himself for a little bit longer, he finally said, "Put your feet down, you idiot!"

Oh.

In my mindless fear I hadn't noticed that my feet kept brushing the sandy bottom. So sue me. I glared at him from my undignified position, the look on my face scary enough to send Seifer running. Zell was unphazed, though, _still_ enjoying himself too much at my expense. This had to be one of the worst days of my life. On top of that, Zell found it _funny_. It's so nice to know all my friends not only don't remember me, but are sadists, too. Pity masochism isn't one of my kinks.

"Why don't you know how to swim?" he asked. 

I pushed my soaked bangs off my face. "Never had any reason to learn, since I went to school in the middle of the _desert._"

He laughed at that, finding it incredibly funny for some reason. "How'd you survive the past week then?"

"I never took my life vest off."

He grinned at me cockily, probably enjoying towering over me for a change. "Poor Irvine Kinneypoo."

I glared some more, but apparently I still hadn't mastered the 'glare of death.' Damn.

At last he held out his hand. "Come on, I'll help you up," he said.

Oh, no, Dincht. You just left yourself wide open for some retaliation.

He caught a glimpse of my evil grin, but by then it was too late. I grabbed his hand and _pulled_.

He came to the surface spluttering, looking like a drowned chocobo. That sight made up for everything I'd suffered through the day.

"Oh, haha. Very funny Kinneas," he said, spitting some water in my direction. He pushed his bangs back but for some reason they fell forward again. He sighed in disgust, and my good mood was restored. 

He began moving back toward the pier and I followed. Before he could pull himself up, though, I stopped him. What the hell, I figured. The day had been... interesting enough already. I might as well have _one_ decent memory of it.

I pinned him between myself and the dock, and the look on his face was - well, the only way I can describe it is 'adorable confusion.' He hated being called adorable when he was a kid, though. I doubt that's changed.

"You nearly gave me a heart attack," I told him in a low voice, surreptiously making sure we were unwatched. "I think you owe me something for that."

A glint of challenge entered his eyes, and his lips quirked up in a small grin. Zell's brighter than most people give him credit for. He caught onto my thoughts and didn't push me away, daring me on.

Okay, so I fucked up with assassinating the Sorceress, and I panic if I'm pushed into water. But call me a coward, tell me I'll back down from a challenge, and you better make sure someone's close by with a couple Phoenix Downs.

So naturally I'd accept an unspoken dare like that, especially since it was something I was planning on doing anyway. I closed the gap between us and kissed him.

He responded eagerly, and his slick skin sliding against mine gave me a reason to appreciate the ocean. Despite how wet we both were, his lips weren't. Instead they were dry and warm, and kissing him was like being burnt up. It was like kissing the desert sun, all-consuming and passionate. And Hyne I wouldn't have minded if I'd died right then.

We pulled apart after a minute, and I couldn't stop grinning. His eyes opened slowly, the usual light blue darkened to the color of the sea at night. Now _this_ was what I'd been missing. The last few weeks had been nothing but fighting, with no time for play. I think we'd both needed those few minutes of release, more than we knew.

I winked and pinched his ass. He gave an undignified sqwack at that, and my grin just got bigger. "Come on," I said as I moved around him, pulling myself out of the water. "We'd better go, before Selphie comes looking for us."

We both left a trail of puddles as we headed back for Garden, our shoes squishing with each step. Zell was looking at me strangely. I don't think he knew if he should be glaring or grinning. I'd opt for the later.

"You know," I said lightly, "I guess I don't hate water that much after all."

That decided it. He let out one his full-blown laughs, punching the air a bit as we walked. "And I guess you're not that bad after all." He jogged ahead of me a few steps and winked. "See ya in the showers, Irvine." Then he sprinted ahead of me.

I continued my strolling pace toward Garden. Showers, huh? Now _that_ was water I didn't mind, especially with a naked Zell soaping himself up…

Aw hell, I thought, as I began jogging. Selphie could wait. I had more important things to take care of.


End file.
